soccer

Europe awaits Orlando City players...

Orlando City has wrapped up it's first campaign in Major League Soccer and already numerous players are attracting scouts from all across the globe. Former Real Sociedad manager David Moyes was spotted at the 3-1 thumping of Sporting Kansas City back in September as well current Bayern Munich head coach Pep Guardiola was seen "drooling" stated one ILF away fan at the 5-2 demolition of New York Red Bulls in late September. Europe has been put on notice of several Orlando City players who have the quality to play for some of the top 5 leagues overseas...

 

Carlos Rivas: Carlos Rivas has everything that European teams look for in a winger. Rivas came to Orlando City after turning down offers from Juventus, Olympique Lyon and Derby County. One scout from Everton recently confirmed interest in the young Colombian but declared "We looked at bringing him over but his hair simply didn't live up to the standards of the Premier League." With a season under his belt at Orlando City, Rivas is only a trip to Liberty Barber Shop away from getting a call from Europe's top clubs.  John The Barber, you know what to do.

Cyle Larin: 2015 first overall pick and MLS Rookie of the Year, top flight clubs across Europe are being put on notice of Cyle "Dat Guy" Larin.  Big in stature, decent pace and a clinical finisher it's no wonder he's been declared "Less psychotic version of Diego Costa" and "Karim Benzema without the blackmailing, transgender, underage and hooker baggage."  ILF received word from a trusted source back in late August that Tottenham Hotspur from the English Premier League had submitted a bid but the Canadian striker wanted to play in front of actual supporters. Orlando City fans should enjoy 'Dat Guy' as much as possible before he ships off to Europe in the next year or two.

Kevin Molino: Some call him the 'Trinidadian Messi' while others have went as far as saying that Cristiano Ronaldo has a Kevin Molino poster in his living room. A football pundit stated after the recent El Clasico "Barcelona would've won by double digits if they had Kevin Molino." Blessed with all the tools to be a hit in Europe, if Kevin can return to his previous form before his ACL injury Orlando City should be prepared for an eight digit transfer bid next summer. 

Rafael Ramos: We've learned a few things about Ramos since his move from Benfica back in 2014. He loves his fiancee, he uses Instagram a lot and he's a right back who gives zero fucks. Ramos has become the standard for fullbacks across the world as the likes of David Alaba and Dani Alves have been compared to the young Portuguese defender. A source at Chelsea FC stated "Rafael Ramos would be a great replacement for Ivanovic, who has been more useless than NYCFC home fans." 

Brazilian blockbuster deal on the horizon?

There are exciting times ahead for Orlando City Soccer Club as international man of mystery Phil Rawlins and charismatic moneyman Flavio da Silva have indicated over the weekend.  The twosome were photographed at Camp Nou taking in the Barcelona-Real Sociedad match and the day apparently was not reserved to spectating as sources within the Catalan club have told the ILF, under the condition of anonymity, that business was absolutely being conducted and it will shake the soccer world to its core.

The business never sleeps.

The business never sleeps.

Nike starlet and Ballon d'Or frontrunner Neymar is likely to take the next step in his career and make the move to the U.S. in order to increase his marketability and worldwide brand, and it's said that he has his eyes set on Orlando due to the rapid growth and visibility of the sport throughout central Florida.  It has also been provided to us by our chief Argentine correspondent, that Neymar is also keen on avoiding the significant taxes levied against the salaries in Spain, a financial move any true barra brava could appreciate.

The story doesn't end there however, as Neymar is said to be a wantaway add-on to a deal for defender Martín Montoya, a fullback currently on loan with Inter Milan.  The interest in the young fullback was reportedly generated as Flavio, upon being educated about Barça's players, overheard the young man's name and repeatedly recited to himself "My name is Martín Montoya, you killed my father.  Prepare to die."

The Brazilian entrepreneur is said to be a huge fan of the 1980s cinema classic "The Princess Bride," and will see fit to do whatever it takes to have the young Spaniard in the Orlando City purple shirt and realize his inspired marketing campaign even if it means poaching one of the world's best.  More details to follow as we get them.

 

UPDATE: Neymar's move to Orlando City has been confirmed. 

Pour one for my homie...

Today we bid farewell to former Orlando City goalkeeper Tally Hall.  OCSC has chosen not to renew the contract for our 2015 starting keeper.  Untimely injuries have been the story of Hall's career.  

Best of luck Tally.  In your one year in Orlando, you made quite an impression on the Iron Lion Firm and on our city.  We hope you enjoyed your time in the 407 and assure you that you will feel nothing but love whenever you come back. 

Pour one for my homie.  See you around Tally.