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15 Things Better Than The Julio Baptista Signing

Sources close to the ILF Blog have indicated that Orlando City will be announcing the signing of 34 year old Brazilian forward Julio Baptista in the very near future. This source going as far as saying "This signing is 100% happening." The transfer is definitely a Flavio signing because who else would bring in a 34 year old Brazilian attacker that's scored 16 goals in the last 5 years for Malaga and most recently Cruzeiro. Baptista's best season was 2003-04 with Sevilla where he scored 24 goals for the Spanish club which spurred a move to Real Madrid two seasons later, which led to his demise as he only reach double digit goals in a season twice more. With the defense being a clear weakness through week 3 of the MLS season, the question everyone is asking....what the actual fuck? So with that, we bring you 15 things better than the signing of 34 year old striker, Julio Baptista.

  1.  Week old Gringo's Double D's
  2.  The bathroom at IBar on a Friday night
  3.  Portapotty's in Lot 11 on a hot summer day
  4. Arsenal after the New Year (still up for debate)
  5. Warm Budweiser
  6. The 2014-2015 Philadelphia 76ers
  7. Newcastle's title chances
  8. Kyrgyzstan's chances of winning a World Cup
  9. The lines for alcohol at Wall St. on Cinco de Mayo
  10. Nickelback's latest album (not really)
  11. Rocky 5
  12. Columbus Crew's chances of filling their stadium (probably not)
  13. Servando Carrasco's mustache
  14. Tony Cascio's 2015 MLS season
  15. Getting two foot tackled by Aurellien Collin

Josh Ford wins 2015 Mr. ILF award.

Josh Ford, the definition of a true Barra brava. 

Josh Ford, the definition of a true Barra brava. 

Back in November, former Orlando City goalkeeper Josh Ford was arrested near UCF for fighting. A confidential source of the ILF News crew tipped us off that Ford began throwing hands at the Knight Library when he was caught locking lips with the wife of now former Lions' Chief Soccer Officer, Armando Carneiro. 

Many believe Ford saw his contract with the club terminated for this reason, with the arrest causing him to miss the trip to Brazil for the Flamengo match. While he is out of contract with the Senior team, the 28-year-old keeper is set to tryout for the ILF Team in the coming months.

"Josh Ford's recent tussle exhibits the passion and ferocity that we look for when scouting players for the ILF", said the ILF President in a recent interview. 

Congratulations on winning the 2015 Mr. ILF award, Josh. And good luck with your upcoming tryout.