Neymar

Neymar Deal Falls Through

Bad news for Orlando City fans throughout the planet.  The previously reported Neymar deal has fallen through.  The press conference scheduled for this Saturday at the Lake Eola Bowl to announce the transfer of Neymar to Orlando from Barcelona has been cancelled.  Neymar secretly flew into OIA on Monday, November 30th where he was picked up by team administrator and former OCSC stud Erik Ustruck to meet the front office, tour our facilities and make a quick publicity stop at Walt Disney World.

During the tour, Inchy and Neymar formally met for the first time.  It was reported to us by friend of the ILF and assistant coach for Orlando City Ian Fuller, that Adrian Heath hinted to Neymar he might have to play behind Cyle Larin at the start of the season.  Heath is high on Larin after his rookie of the year campaign and not willing to bench Cyle even for a world class footballer like Neymar.

The Brazilian international did not take well to this news as this compounded to his doubts of coming to America as he learned that the American tax code is more difficult to get around than he initially thought.  Neymar is not keen on paying the tax man just like his idol Willie Nelson.  

We have heard from anonymous sources within our front office that while disappointed, Phil Rawlins, Flavio Da Silva, Paul McDonough and Alex Wolf are happy with the prospects of Cyle Larin being our unquestioned number one striker going into 2016.  

Happy trails Neymar.  Best of luck with the Catalans in La Liga and the Champions League.  Should you ever choose to change your mind and earn your playing time behind Cyle Larin, you will have a home here in Orlando anytime.

Even Uncle Phil Loves Our Reporting...

We have been getting compliments left and right from around the planet of our quality reporting with respect to the Neymar transfer rumors to Orlando City.  After our Air Bud and Pele scoops last week, we thought our journalistic credibility had been shot.  Clearly however a sucker, I mean reader is born every minute and our piece on Neymar has reached worldwide readership. 

Thank you for all the ILF shout outs including those from Henry Paulson, George Soros, Carly Fiorina, Greg Kite, Rocky Ross, Rick Ross, Tommy Hilfiger and most importantly to us Phil Rawlins.  Thank you Mr. Rawlins.  All we do is for the kids and Rob Valentino.  You can count on us delivering scoops and continued morsels of thought provoking insight.  

Update: Neymar to Orlando City Confirmed

We previously reported rumors of Neymar making a move to Orlando City. 

Sources within the Orlando City organization have confirmed to us within the last hour that the deal to bring Neymar to the City Beautiful is complete and will be announced at the beginning of the January transfer window.  

Those close to Neymar indicated that the 23 year old superstar is excited about the move and was recently spotted in downtown Barcelona wearing this shirt.  

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Terms of the deal were not disclosed but are reportedly in the range of €200 million, making it the largest transfer fee in MLS history. Neymar is also expected to be granted a five percent stake in the Walt Disney World Resort. 

UPDATE: According to our sources, the Neymar deal has fallen through. 

Brazilian blockbuster deal on the horizon?

There are exciting times ahead for Orlando City Soccer Club as international man of mystery Phil Rawlins and charismatic moneyman Flavio da Silva have indicated over the weekend.  The twosome were photographed at Camp Nou taking in the Barcelona-Real Sociedad match and the day apparently was not reserved to spectating as sources within the Catalan club have told the ILF, under the condition of anonymity, that business was absolutely being conducted and it will shake the soccer world to its core.

The business never sleeps.

The business never sleeps.

Nike starlet and Ballon d'Or frontrunner Neymar is likely to take the next step in his career and make the move to the U.S. in order to increase his marketability and worldwide brand, and it's said that he has his eyes set on Orlando due to the rapid growth and visibility of the sport throughout central Florida.  It has also been provided to us by our chief Argentine correspondent, that Neymar is also keen on avoiding the significant taxes levied against the salaries in Spain, a financial move any true barra brava could appreciate.

The story doesn't end there however, as Neymar is said to be a wantaway add-on to a deal for defender Martín Montoya, a fullback currently on loan with Inter Milan.  The interest in the young fullback was reportedly generated as Flavio, upon being educated about Barça's players, overheard the young man's name and repeatedly recited to himself "My name is Martín Montoya, you killed my father.  Prepare to die."

The Brazilian entrepreneur is said to be a huge fan of the 1980s cinema classic "The Princess Bride," and will see fit to do whatever it takes to have the young Spaniard in the Orlando City purple shirt and realize his inspired marketing campaign even if it means poaching one of the world's best.  More details to follow as we get them.

 

UPDATE: Neymar's move to Orlando City has been confirmed.