Ranking the 5 American Professional Drafts

Ahead of the MLS SuperDraft today, we rank the top American Sports collegiate drafts.  Why are we doing this?  Well it is because we have a hot take and it is still the off season.  Bottomline, we are incredibly bored.  

1.  The NFL Draft - The NFL is terribly violent and the average team has a higher turnover ratio of players than Orlando City in an off season.  As a result of this NFL draftees are likely to see immediate playing time and have a much higher likelihood of having an impact than collegiate athletes making the move to be professionals in other sports.  The NFL is also masterful in filling the off season void between the Super Bowl and the NFL draft promoting their up and coming athletes with reality series and combine televised events that add intrigue to the build up of the draft.  Add to the fact that college football is incredibly popular.  Many viewers have a vested interest in the athletes entering the National Football League.  

2.  The NBA Draft - The NBA draft is the only other professional american collegiate draft that garners national attention.  This is directly due to the popularity of basketball and the fact that college basketball is incredibly popular.  Coming off of March Madness, many of the collegiate prospects are household names for sports fans before they even sign with an NBA side.  Like with the NFL, the NBA does a good job building up prospects thru various forms of media so that fans have a vested interest in the players coming into the league. 

3.  The MLB Draft - 3-5 are interchangeable as neither the MLB, NHL or MLS drafts are all that intriguing or compelling of a draft.  The reason for this is that draftees in any of these sports rarely make an immediate impact.  Cyle Larin and Sydney Crosby are the exceptions rather than the rule.  More often than not, it takes time for hockey and MLB prospects to develop and even make the first team.  In MLS, most athletes don't even come from the SuperDraft but from the many other avenues professional soccer players have of entering the MLS.  The MLB draft is compelling because most not only is baseball more popular nationally than soccer and hockey but most MLB players actually do get their start from the baseball draft.  While it may take a while, professional baseball is made up mostly of athletes who got their start in the MLB draft.

4.  The MLS Draft - The MLS draft gets the edge over the NHL draft only because I am bias.  Both drafts are boring.  Lets be honest with one another, the top MLS players do NOT come from the MLS SuperDraft.  Look at the 2012, 2013 and 2014 drafts for example.  Only ONE player drafted in these three seasons has made an all star team (the great Dom Dwyer drafted in 2012 by SKC).  The rest are mostly a collection of bench players and USL/NASL journeymen thru this day working on their shot to make an MLS roster.  We in Orlando were spoiled our first year by the SuperDraft in acquiring Cyle Larin.  A player like Larin is clearly the exception rather than the norm.  He is an anomaly in a draft filled with collegiate soccer players who simply are not of MLS ilk.  The reasons for this are various but not the least of which is the fact that the NCAA collegiate soccer structure sucks and is severely antiquated in need of reform.  

5.  NHL Draft - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  A cure for insomnia is to watch the NHL Entry Draft.  Unless you are Canadian, you likely have not heard of any of the 18-20 year olds who are prospects.  As well, you are not likely to see any of these kids play in the NHL for a number of years as most float around in development leagues while they develop physically and athletically.  If you live in Ottawa or Winnipeg i'm sure you vehemently disagree.  To our Canadian ILF blog readership, my apologies.  

                              Cyle Larin is the MLS SuperDraft exception, not the rule

                              Cyle Larin is the MLS SuperDraft exception, not the rule

MLS Expansion Has Only Begun...

Don Garber is a man of ambition.  He is the type of guy that would fight a homeless man in the subway for a quarter should that situation arise.  In a scoop recently given to this inquiring ILF blogger, Garber' recent announcement of MLS expansion to 28 teams is only the beginning  and a pretense as he is just testing the waters for his true objective.  In reality Don and the suits at MLS headquarters want to expand Major League Soccer to 351 teams across the country.  That's right ladies and gentlemen the real expansion goal is 351 soccer clubs under one umbrella of MLS.  

Our balding commissioner believes the NCAA model for college basketball would work in soccer.  It was told us anonymously that when the self proclaimed "Soccer Don" learned about the 2011 deal the NCAA signed for 10.8 billion dollars with CBS and Turner Broadcasting for the March Madness television rights deal, Garber spit out his Citrus Lime Fresca and was quoted as saying "holy fuck that's a lot of cheddar!"

             All Hail the Don

            All Hail the Don

Quickly the wheels started turning in the Dons head and he began thinking of how he could restructure Major League Soccer to get a television deal worth in the vicinity of the NCAA tournament for the MLS playoff.  For starters Don said to the MLS Board of Directors, "we have to expand to EVERY major market in America, big time college towns and even podunk crap cities like Tampa if we want to make it to the next level."  The Soccer Don further added "look at the division one NCAA model for men's college basketball.  Those guys have 351 first division teams across the nation and have a 64 team tournament to crown their champion where they make it rain with money. Why can't we do the same?  We have to think bigger and not limit ourselves by artificial constraints!" 

This would be an unprecedented level of expansion compared to any single professional sports league on the planet.  The Dons also suggested that they mimmick the NCAA basketball model and have the season culminate in a 64 team tournament much like the NCAA "March Madness" cash cow.  Garber has floated the name "Nutty November" as title of this 64 team knock out tournament to crown our MLS champion although that is still in the works.  

Don Garber is said to be a tyrant.  Some believe he runs MLS like the WWE where his favorites always come out ahead with the league's archaic rules that change as they go.  Others simply think he is an odd looking fellow who looks like Sam the Eagle from the Jim Henson Muppets.  Regardless of what you make of The Don however you can't question his ambition.  He is a man with a vision and a plan.  28 teams is only the beginning.  Haters will always bring up concerns of over saturation of the sport, the watering down of the professional soccer product in America and the league not addressing issues like shit markets that don't perform up to par (Colorado, Chicago, Dallas, DC United).  This does not suede The Soccer Don however.  No, no, no my barra brava friends.  Garber is the kind of guy who back in the day would play monopoly with his kids and steal money from the bank when they were not looking just to make sure he would bury his children in defeat.  His ambition knows no bounds and he is dead set on his vision becoming a reality and he will not be denied.

           Sam the Eagle or Don Garber?

           Sam the Eagle or Don Garber?

Things like league structure and scheduling are yet to be determined and works in progress said our anonymous source.  The MLS front offices were unavailable for comment.