Each day here at theironlionfirm.com offices we receive numerous comments and questions into our mailbox. So we figured we'd answer some of those questions in a new series we're calling "ILF Mailbag". Onto the questions!
Please stop with the fake posts. They are not funny. I ran my car into a light pole when I read the Neymar news only to later find out it wasn't true. Please be respectful and only report true things.
- Eric, Madrid
Eric, thanks for reading the blog! First off, you probably shouldn't be on your phone while driving. Doesn't seem very safe. That may be more your fault than it is ours.
Second of all, we fully believe in the information we receive from our sources. Neymar was in serious talks to join Orlando City but negotiations fell through. It happens sometimes. But that won't stop us from reporting on the news as we get it. As the great Michael Scott once said, quoting the legendary Wayne Gretzky "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take".
Who do you think has the best hair on the club?
- Bryan, Orlando
With the recent departure of Estrella this one is tough to call. There are many worthy candidates. You have the flowing blond locks of Brek Shea. Or the clean, close look Kevin Molino has been spotted sporting recently. But for our money you can't beat the wonderful hairstyle of the Mastermind and Crafter himself, head coach Adrian Heath. No matter how heated Inchy gets at the referees his hair always seems to stay in place. Kudos to his hairstylist!
What do you guys think of the signing of Antonio Nocerino?
- Piper, Windemere, Florida
While you can find out what we think Nocerino's signing will mean for central Florida here, we'll break down what it could mean for the club itself. Nocerino brings a world of experience with him and should link up with his former AC Milan teammate Kaka very nicely. We just hope his arrival won't stunt the growth of our young midfielders like Carlos Rivas and Cristian Higuita.
I want to play for your club. I am great midfielder and score many goals. Please tell me how to sign up to play for your club.
- Yassine, Algeria
Yassine, thank you for your interest in our club. We regret to inform you that we are all filled up at midfield after our recent signing of the man they call Derek "Long Legs" Sheiman. We will have tryouts for next year's squad in late December off the south coast of France. Hope to see you there.
I love the passion and pride you guys have for Orlando City. You guys always kill it in the terraces. And this blog is absolutely hilarious and informative. Keep up the great work! How do I become a member of your illustrious club?
- Rob, Chicago
Thank you so much for your kind words. We appreciate it and hope to continue to make you proud. Memberships are available online or at select tailgates this season. Please keep your eyes on our Twitter or Facebook pages as to when that will be.
That wraps up the inaugural edition of the ILF mailbag. If you have any questions you want answered in the next edition of the mailbag email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or by using the contact button of this website. See you in the terraces!
Orlando City has wrapped up it's first campaign in Major League Soccer and already numerous players are attracting scouts from all across the globe. Former Real Sociedad manager David Moyes was spotted at the 3-1 thumping of Sporting Kansas City back in September as well current Bayern Munich head coach Pep Guardiola was seen "drooling" stated one ILF away fan at the 5-2 demolition of New York Red Bulls in late September. Europe has been put on notice of several Orlando City players who have the quality to play for some of the top 5 leagues overseas...
Carlos Rivas: Carlos Rivas has everything that European teams look for in a winger. Rivas came to Orlando City after turning down offers from Juventus, Olympique Lyon and Derby County. One scout from Everton recently confirmed interest in the young Colombian but declared "We looked at bringing him over but his hair simply didn't live up to the standards of the Premier League." With a season under his belt at Orlando City, Rivas is only a trip to Liberty Barber Shop away from getting a call from Europe's top clubs. John The Barber, you know what to do.
Cyle Larin: 2015 first overall pick and MLS Rookie of the Year, top flight clubs across Europe are being put on notice of Cyle "Dat Guy" Larin. Big in stature, decent pace and a clinical finisher it's no wonder he's been declared "Less psychotic version of Diego Costa" and "Karim Benzema without the blackmailing, transgender, underage and hooker baggage." ILF received word from a trusted source back in late August that Tottenham Hotspur from the English Premier League had submitted a bid but the Canadian striker wanted to play in front of actual supporters. Orlando City fans should enjoy 'Dat Guy' as much as possible before he ships off to Europe in the next year or two.
Kevin Molino: Some call him the 'Trinidadian Messi' while others have went as far as saying that Cristiano Ronaldo has a Kevin Molino poster in his living room. A football pundit stated after the recent El Clasico "Barcelona would've won by double digits if they had Kevin Molino." Blessed with all the tools to be a hit in Europe, if Kevin can return to his previous form before his ACL injury Orlando City should be prepared for an eight digit transfer bid next summer.
Rafael Ramos: We've learned a few things about Ramos since his move from Benfica back in 2014. He loves his fiancee, he uses Instagram a lot and he's a right back who gives zero fucks. Ramos has become the standard for fullbacks across the world as the likes of David Alaba and Dani Alves have been compared to the young Portuguese defender. A source at Chelsea FC stated "Rafael Ramos would be a great replacement for Ivanovic, who has been more useless than NYCFC home fans."