Brek Shea

7 Takeaways from Orlando City vs Real Salty Lake

60,147 Orlando City fans got to witness perhaps one of the most dramatic finishes in not just Orlando City history, but also MLS history.  2 Red cards, 1 penalty and 2 stoppage time goals led for a highly dramatic opener to the Lions season.

Never Leave Early:

A crowd of 60,000+ attended the season opener on Sunday and with the Lions down a man, behind 2-0 and deep into stoppage, fans started to head towards the exit in an attempt of beating the inevitable traffic. Scoring two goals in the 93rd and 94th minute will have many fans thinking twice the next time they try to leave an Orlando City match early.  Yeah, we're looking at you Mayor Dyer.

The Ref Belongs on OBT:

Refs screwing over Orlando City, yep sounds like just another weekend for the Lions.  In other news, water is wet.  A straight red car for Ceren, an iffy penalty in favor of RSL and several other calls against the home team.  Chris Penso must've gone on a binge after the match knowing he allowed the Lions to equalize so late on in extra time. Heard OBT is looking for new employees, jabroni.

Molino Back:

Orlando's prodigal son made his MLS return yesterday after suffering a season ending injury last May.  Molino returned to where he left off last season, looking dangerous on numerous occasions and having the pace and dribbling we deeply missed when he went down last season. Like every other MLS team, RSL players went straight for the harsh tackles on Kevin as he's accustomed to nowadays.  They screaming "Molino back, Molino back."

Brek Shea and Rafael Ramos Going to be a Problem:

While Ramos can be blamed for RSL's second goal, Ramos spent the rest of the afternoon taking on defenders twice his size and getting in Salty Lake players faces for diving. We here at ILF love that shit. Ramos keep doing your thing, homie.  As for Brek, he spent the afternoon giving Tony Beltran nightmares.  Don't be surprised if Beltran's chick was liking Brek Shea's pictures on Instagram after the display Brek put on.

No Kaka, We Still Party:

News broke during the tailgate yesterday that Kaka would miss the season opener due to picking up a slight knock over the weekend. "I heard of the Kaká news then polished off my bottle of champagne, vroooooooom" said one tailgater. It goes without saying, we hope Kaká gets well soon and can't wait to see how Inchy puts together a team with the likes of Kaka and new signing Antonio Nocerino.

Winter Came......

Score the equalizer with the last kick of the match and you can get a weird headline too.  Adrian Winter has been with Orlando City for less than year but is already developing a reputation for dramatic finishes. Prior to yesterday's heroics, Winter was involved in multiple late goals for the Lions last season and though he may be a rotational player this year we expect many more dramatic finishes like Sunday.

The Ref Belongs on OBT:

No seriously, you guys belong on OBT.

 

I'm out!

 

 

 

ILF Mailbag

image.jpg

Each day here at theironlionfirm.com offices we receive numerous comments and questions into our mailbox. So we figured we'd answer some of those questions in a new series we're calling "ILF Mailbag". Onto the questions!

Please stop with the fake posts. They are not funny. I ran my car into a light pole when I read the Neymar news only to later find out it wasn't true. Please be respectful and only report true things.

- Eric, Madrid

Eric, thanks for reading the blog! First off, you probably shouldn't be on your phone while driving. Doesn't seem very safe. That may be more your fault than it is ours.  

Second of all, we fully believe in the information we receive from our sources. Neymar was in serious talks to join Orlando City but negotiations fell through. It happens sometimes. But that won't stop us from reporting on the news as we get it. As the great Michael Scott once said, quoting the legendary Wayne Gretzky "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take".  

Who do you think has the best hair on the club? 

 - Bryan, Orlando 

With the recent departure of Estrella this one is tough to call. There are many worthy candidates. You have the flowing blond locks of Brek Shea. Or the clean, close look Kevin Molino has been spotted sporting recently. But for our money you can't beat the wonderful hairstyle of the Mastermind and Crafter himself, head coach Adrian Heath. No matter how heated Inchy gets at the referees his hair always seems to stay in place. Kudos to his hairstylist!

What do you guys think of the signing of Antonio Nocerino?  

 - Piper, Windemere, Florida 

While you can find out what we think Nocerino's signing will mean for central Florida here, we'll break down what it could mean for the club itself. Nocerino brings a world of experience with him and should link up with his former AC Milan teammate Kaka very nicely. We just hope his arrival won't stunt the growth of our young midfielders like Carlos Rivas and Cristian Higuita. 

I want to play for your club. I am great midfielder and score many goals. Please tell me how to sign up to play for your club.  

 - Yassine, Algeria 

Yassine, thank you for your interest in our club. We regret to inform you that we are all filled up at midfield after our recent signing of the man they call Derek "Long Legs" Sheiman. We will have tryouts for next year's squad in late December off the south coast of France. Hope to see you there.  

I love the passion and pride you guys have for Orlando City. You guys always kill it in the terraces. And this blog is absolutely hilarious and informative. Keep up the great work! How do I become a member of your illustrious club? 

 - Rob,  Chicago

Thank you so much for your kind words. We appreciate it and hope to continue to make you proud. Memberships are available online or at select tailgates this season. Please keep your eyes on our Twitter or Facebook pages as to when that will be. 

That wraps up the inaugural edition of the ILF mailbag. If you have any questions you want answered in the next edition of the mailbag email us at ironlionfirm@gmail.com or by using the contact button of this website. See you in the terraces!