Barcelona

Europe awaits Orlando City players...

Orlando City has wrapped up it's first campaign in Major League Soccer and already numerous players are attracting scouts from all across the globe. Former Real Sociedad manager David Moyes was spotted at the 3-1 thumping of Sporting Kansas City back in September as well current Bayern Munich head coach Pep Guardiola was seen "drooling" stated one ILF away fan at the 5-2 demolition of New York Red Bulls in late September. Europe has been put on notice of several Orlando City players who have the quality to play for some of the top 5 leagues overseas...

 

Carlos Rivas: Carlos Rivas has everything that European teams look for in a winger. Rivas came to Orlando City after turning down offers from Juventus, Olympique Lyon and Derby County. One scout from Everton recently confirmed interest in the young Colombian but declared "We looked at bringing him over but his hair simply didn't live up to the standards of the Premier League." With a season under his belt at Orlando City, Rivas is only a trip to Liberty Barber Shop away from getting a call from Europe's top clubs.  John The Barber, you know what to do.

Cyle Larin: 2015 first overall pick and MLS Rookie of the Year, top flight clubs across Europe are being put on notice of Cyle "Dat Guy" Larin.  Big in stature, decent pace and a clinical finisher it's no wonder he's been declared "Less psychotic version of Diego Costa" and "Karim Benzema without the blackmailing, transgender, underage and hooker baggage."  ILF received word from a trusted source back in late August that Tottenham Hotspur from the English Premier League had submitted a bid but the Canadian striker wanted to play in front of actual supporters. Orlando City fans should enjoy 'Dat Guy' as much as possible before he ships off to Europe in the next year or two.

Kevin Molino: Some call him the 'Trinidadian Messi' while others have went as far as saying that Cristiano Ronaldo has a Kevin Molino poster in his living room. A football pundit stated after the recent El Clasico "Barcelona would've won by double digits if they had Kevin Molino." Blessed with all the tools to be a hit in Europe, if Kevin can return to his previous form before his ACL injury Orlando City should be prepared for an eight digit transfer bid next summer. 

Rafael Ramos: We've learned a few things about Ramos since his move from Benfica back in 2014. He loves his fiancee, he uses Instagram a lot and he's a right back who gives zero fucks. Ramos has become the standard for fullbacks across the world as the likes of David Alaba and Dani Alves have been compared to the young Portuguese defender. A source at Chelsea FC stated "Rafael Ramos would be a great replacement for Ivanovic, who has been more useless than NYCFC home fans." 

Neymar Deal Falls Through

Bad news for Orlando City fans throughout the planet.  The previously reported Neymar deal has fallen through.  The press conference scheduled for this Saturday at the Lake Eola Bowl to announce the transfer of Neymar to Orlando from Barcelona has been cancelled.  Neymar secretly flew into OIA on Monday, November 30th where he was picked up by team administrator and former OCSC stud Erik Ustruck to meet the front office, tour our facilities and make a quick publicity stop at Walt Disney World.

During the tour, Inchy and Neymar formally met for the first time.  It was reported to us by friend of the ILF and assistant coach for Orlando City Ian Fuller, that Adrian Heath hinted to Neymar he might have to play behind Cyle Larin at the start of the season.  Heath is high on Larin after his rookie of the year campaign and not willing to bench Cyle even for a world class footballer like Neymar.

The Brazilian international did not take well to this news as this compounded to his doubts of coming to America as he learned that the American tax code is more difficult to get around than he initially thought.  Neymar is not keen on paying the tax man just like his idol Willie Nelson.  

We have heard from anonymous sources within our front office that while disappointed, Phil Rawlins, Flavio Da Silva, Paul McDonough and Alex Wolf are happy with the prospects of Cyle Larin being our unquestioned number one striker going into 2016.  

Happy trails Neymar.  Best of luck with the Catalans in La Liga and the Champions League.  Should you ever choose to change your mind and earn your playing time behind Cyle Larin, you will have a home here in Orlando anytime.