I'll admit there was like a 0.00001% chance of me writing this weeks match preview or in layman's terms the same chance the Philadelphia Eagles have of winning a Super Bowl this year, as I've been slowly dying in bed the last few days. Nevertheless your boy is back with the one and only Orlando City preview that matters. I'm currently writing this piece in the corner of a dark room with a single lit candle slowly withering away but without further ado I bring you the match preview for your Orlando City Lions versus Sporting Kansas City.
Larin v. Some Guy Named Dom:
Two of the leagues most lethal strikers go head to head on Sunday as Cyle and Mr. Leroux face off. Both forwards go into this match with 4 goals thus far this season with Dom playing 4 more games than our homie, Larin. Larin has been in poor form as of late after scoring 3 in his first 3 matches which somehow coincides with the signing of Julio Baptista. All you people that were saying Baptista would be a good mentor for the young Canadian, what exactly is he teaching him? I'll just keep sipping my tea. Anyways, let's hope Dat Guy can return to his scoring ways on Sunday.
The Brek Dilemma:
I've gone on record for some time now and said that Brek Shea is not a LB or a LWB like some of the American Outlaw nerds fantasize him as. With a defense that's already been in shambles this season, moving Brek from left wing to left back has proved time in and time out to be a mistake. Yes even after his binge drinking at the golf course with his mates, Brek still has one of the highest motor's on this squad. Doesn't mean he belong's at left back, if anything he belongs more up field and can be asked to track back when need be. The Bodz/Shea combination was actually pretty successful last year but Boden has been an after thought this season. Don't worry Flavio, I'm currently scouting out Brazilian left backs from the 1998 World Cup for you to sign.
It Was All Good A Week Ago:
Last week we were sitting pretty in 4th place in the East after our draw with the Red Bulls but all wasn't fine and dandy. The difference between 4th place and 9th place was roughly 3 points and any set of results could flip that upside down. As of 9am this morning we sit in 7th place, though we've played the least amount of matches in the league we could see ourselves drop down to 9th place if we don't pick up at least 3 points this afternoon. I don't care if it's legal, by all means get 3 points.
Eh, who cares.
You ever wondered what a mixture of Comic-Con and a Magic the Gathering convention looked like? I introduce you to The Cauldron. Known for their love of the TV cameras, singing "I Believe" 213 times a match and horrible banter in the Twitter universe. Cauldron almost make American Outlaws look like Ultra's from a 3rd division league in Croatia, I said ALMOST. While I've been writing this, the ILF on Tour boys have been stealing your chicks and drinking your beers. Have a nice day.
I'm honestly not going into this match with any high expectations, I'm thinking a 2-2 draw sounds about right however. Sporting Kansas City aren't off to the best start this season so they could be ripe for the picking, I'll be okay with a draw but if we can take 3 points from those bozo's I'll be through the roof. Lastly, enjoy the match and pour out a beer for your boy while I'm dying in bed. Shout out to them ILF on Tour boys!