Orlando City v. NYRB: Match Recap

   I'm just annoyed, probably a little tired too. I sound like a broken record at this point but it's a reoccurring theme, Orlando City getting  done over by MLS referees. That's 3 matches in a row, yes I said 3 that MLS referees decided the match for the Lions. Buckle your seat belts ladies and gentleman, this season is going to be a bumpy ride. 

Gingers Have No Soul: 

Listen here Lalas you curly haired twat, your commentary blows and your defense of Pro Referees is absurd. Alexi "Don't look into my eyes or I'll steal your soul" Lalas spent 90+ minutes gushing about the New Jersey Red Bulls and talking up how Pro Referees are on par with the officiating from around the world. Lalas went on to say that referees around the World make mistakes on a daily, which turns out is the worst possible argument one could come up with. Pro Referees are making mistakes at an alarming rate and deciding crucial matches. Lalas, go put some sunscreen on you pale loser. 

 PRO Refs Back At It Again:

Another Orlando City match, Another day of getting pushed around by MLS officials. Hilario Grajeda, I hope you're reading this while at your second job as a bus boy at the local Applebees, YOU'RE TRASH. Your wife left you cause you made bad decisions like buying 1-ply toilet paper, Fruity Pebbles and investing in Enron. MLS refs were so bad this week they didn't even wait until after the match to announce they made a mistake, they announced it during the game. Get your act together Grajeda and get me some mozzarella sticks while you're at it. 

Dat Guy:  

Reports came out shortly before kickoff that Norwegian club Molde had sent a scout to watch Cyle Larin as a potential target for the club overseas. Canadian Messi didn't disappoint once again, scoring another goal bringing his season tally up to 4 this season. Most of us have settled on the idea that Larin won't be here long term but when that time comes we're going to get PAID. It is not out of the realm of possibility that Larin could bring in a transfer fee in 8 figures. Needless to say, we eatin'.

Playing Defense for Dummies: 

Another nightmare for Orlando's back line and frankly that's being nice. Hines was ripped to shreds, Shea besides one good goal saving clearance was humiliated and poor Ramos and Redding were hiding in the corner begging to make it stop. I said this before after the Baptista signing and I'll say it again, Orlando should've invested in their backline. Poor Joe Bendik who put in another quality performance spent the majority of the evening screaming at his players in his best Kevin Hart voice "Help me......HELP ME." Defense wins championships it's simple as that, unless of course you're Manchester United. 

We See You Homie Award:

The We See You Homie award for this week goes to none other then Cristian Higuita. After this very blog tore Higuita apart for his lazy performance in our recap after the Chicago Fire match, the young Colombian hasn't put in a bad shift since. New Jersey Red Bulls players were well aware of the fact that Higuita is card friendly, but the young lad remained calm and collective for the majority of the match. Inevitably the kid did pick up a yellow card but at that point in the match we were all content with the entire squad fighting the Red Bulls players and all getting shown reds. Keep doing your thing homie, don't let the man bring you down. 

Up Next: 

Saturday night the Lions will travel to New England for a rematch against the Rev's. The last time these two teams met Pro Referees awarded the Rev's a penalty kick for an infraction outside the box which ref's later on declared was a mistake, yeah no shit Sherlock. Along with the match drama, multiple arrests were made in the North side of the stadium as spectators were seen throwing their very own children at the refs and New England Revs players after they ran out of water bottles and beer cans, I SEENT IT. Anyways, I hope you all have a good week and I'm looking forward to Higuita giving Lee Nguyen an atomic wedgie on Saturday Night. 

I'M OUT!

VAMOS ORLANDO