Orlando City v.s Chicago Fire Preview

It's matchday! And we're here to preview the Eastern Conference matchup between your Orlando City Lions and that team from Chicago that are just as useless as Derrick Rose's knees and Jay Cutler's arm.

ENTER NOCERINO:

Antonio Nocerino arrived in Orlando just a week ago but is already lighting it up in practice and catching the eye of many, mostly females. Said one Orlando City staff member "We had to put up higher fences around the training pitch as the women around Central Florida have become complete savages for Nocerino."  Nocerino has also had to install a wall taller than a giraffe around his new digs.  Fucking guy gets more play than DiCaprio on Oscar night. With Kaka slated to miss his second match in a row and Darwin Ceren out because of his red card, we expect Nocerino to get a good chunk of minutes tonight.

BACKGROUND:

Through 1 season in MLS, Orlando City has won two matches and drawn once against Chicago (We don't dare mention the U.S Open Cup exit). Last season the Fire finished in dead last in the East and at the bottom of the entire league. If you thought it couldn't get uglier, we're just starting. The Fire also haven't been to the playoffs the last 5 of 6 years, which is a difficult task in a league that sends over half the league to the playoffs. Somehow Chicago fans will blame the infamous Steve Bartman for their playoff drought, but the fact of the matter is the Chicago Fire just suck.

Chicago's favorite son, Steve Bartman.  

Chicago's favorite son, Steve Bartman.  

 SERVANDO CARRASCO:

I've expressed my displeasure with Carrasco on countless occasions so here I am to eat my words after Carrasco saved the day this past Sunday with a wonderful pass from about 700 yards out to Larin to setup the Adrian Winter winner. Don't let me see you sending weak ass back passes to the goal keeper again though.  Mr. Morgan needs to step up big tonight again. 

THE RETURN OF PAUL TENORIO:

Ah, the return of long time Orlando Sentinel/Orlando City writer, Paul Tenorio. Good old Paul left his post at the Sentinel recently and took an easier job for the worst team in MLS, the Chicago Fire. Did Tenorio jump ship when he saw the ILF Blog getting all the attention?  Leaving Orlando City for the Chicago Fire is the definition of hustling backwards.  It is trading in your Tesla for a Prius.  You do you however Tenorio.  Maybe he wanted to be closer to the Northwestern Alumni Club.  Frankly we don't care.  

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS:

Friday night matches are a favorite of TBB's everywhere. TBB's love football and partying and nothing beats kicking off a weekend binge then with a Friday night kickoff. With that said, we think getting off work early today is a wise choice and we won't tell your boss if you decide to put an adult beverage of sorts into your Friday morning coffee.

AWAY FANS:

A fair amount of Chicago supporters made the trip to Orlando last season and we can expect the same tonight.

Sector Latino - Que tal raza.  Marimba on us. 

Section 8 - Not welcome.

I'm out! Let's rage tonight.